Thoughts on death

It's been a little over a week since we said goodbye to Amber's mom. It was pretty sad, and I had a pretty hard time during my little part of the eulogy. This is my 2nd family member to pass away over the past year, and it's tough.

One thing that's really struck me across the face is the whole issue of mortality. As a child, you think your parents are going to be around forever, and up until last week, I've never considered the fact that my folks are going to die one day. I can't imagine what life would be without them. They've been the constant in my life for the entirety of my existence. And this is what makes it so hard for me with my mother in-law's death. I honestly don't know what to do for my wife apart from just being there for her. My natural inclination when anything bad happens to those I love is to fix it, or at least try to put myself in that person's shoes and establish some empathy. But now, I don't know. Losing a parent has to be incredibly painful and numbing, and I just don't know what to do.

Amber is a very, very strong woman and has yet to really let me see her grieve over her mother's death. Partly because she's been so busy dealing with all of the practicalities of what's happened - planning the funeral service, figuring out who's staying where, getting her mother's papers in order, cleaning out her home. The list goes on and on. I'm just afraid that at some point she's going to lose it. And I'm angry at her sisters and her brother. Intellectually I know it's only because we live the closest to her mother (one sister is in Taneytown, MD, the other is in Chicago and her brother is in Oregon) that Amber is the one who's had all of the responsibility fall on her, but she's the 4th child, the 2nd youngest. This is the time when older siblings really need to step up and take some responsibility. But, as with most things, that hasn't (luckily, Amber never reads this blog, and neither do her siblings). Whoa, I sound like my grandmother now - "You're the oldest" she's been telling me since I was around 7 or 8.

Anyway, back to the issue of mortality. I guess if I was a person with strong faith, I'd be comforted in the fact that my loved ones are going to heaven, but I'm not. I don't have any idea what happens to us when we die, and that scares the shit out of me. It'd be nice if we ended up chilling on some beach, or floating around the clouds. But what if this is it? What if nothing happens, and we just stop being?

Weekend

Well, we had Mama Nightingale's funeral on Wednesday. Obviously, very, very sad. I'm not going to go into any details, because it's it's still too hard to discuss. We had Thanksgiving with the whole family at her place on Thursday, with her sisters and brother who flew in from Ireland.

Tonight, we're having the FW's 2 aunts from Dublin overnight, along with her 3 sisters. Yep, me alone with a house full of Irish Woman. God Help Me!

My Mother In-Law

My mother in-law was a wonderful, fun loving woman. Yeah, she could be a bit rough and gruff, but that was part of her Irish charm. This is my favorite picture of her. It was taken at our wedding, and even though we had open bar, she didn't trust that we would have what she wanted, so she brought along her bottle of Bailey's. She loved that stuff.

She was really looking forward to Thanksgiving - we were all headed down to her place for a good old time, and two of hers sisters were flying over for from Dublin for the holiday. They're still coming over, just for a much less joyful occasion.

She had a really tough life, growing up dirt poor in Ireland, moving here to start a new life and raising 5 kids on her own after a bad marriage. But she never stopped having fun and enjoying life, though she did like making sure everyone knew how good they had it thanks to her.

I'm really going to miss her. I'll never forget the 1st time I met her. Amber and I had been dating for a few months and Amber drove me down to meet her "Mamacita". I was a bit worried - I didn't know how she would respond to her daughter dating me, as she was straight off the boat from Ireland. But she never batted an eye, and loved me as if I were one of her own. We had good times, and I'll never, ever forget her. I just wish she held on until we gave her the little grandbabies she wanted us to make for her.

Catherine Rickard Nightingale

Catherine Rickard Nightingale, 71, of Victoria Park retirement community in Woodbridge passed away peacefully on November 18. She died from multiple complications related to diabetes and congestive heart failure.

Ms. Nightingale was born in Dublin, Ireland, to the late Luke and Jane Rickard. She emigrated to the United States in search of adventure and opportunities in 1964 and resided in the Washington DC region. She became a United States citizen in 1996.

Ms. Nightingale worked as a housekeeper at Potomac Hospital for over 15 years. In her retirement, she was an active resident of Victoria Park retirement community. In addition to being an avid bingo player, she was involved with planning and organizing special events for community residents.

Survivors include five children, Scarlett Tausen of Taneytown, Maryland, Vienna Nightingale of Chicago, Illinois, Winchester Nightingale of Portland, Oregon, Amber Nightingale and Victoria Nightingale of Alexandria, Virginia; sisters Mae Checkon of Dale City, Virginia, Rose Honan and Ellen Carroll of Dublin, Ireland, Clare Kay of Lancashire, England, brothers Mark Rickard of Dublin, Ireland, Frank Rickard of County Wicklow, Ireland, and Hughie Rickard of Lancashire, England; grandchildren Christopher Tausen, Kelly Tausen, and Bailey Tausen of Taneytown, Maryland and Amber Nightingale of Morrill, Nebraska . She was preceded in death by her sister Nancy Rickard of Dublin, Ireland, brothers Luke Rickard of Lancashire, England, and Thomas Rickard of London, England.

Her sassiness, wittiness, and story-telling charm will be greatly missed by all who knew and loved her.

A wake will be held from 12:00 noon until 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday, November 22 at Mountcastle Funeral Home, 4143 Dale Blvd., Dale City, Virginia 22193. The funeral service will follow the wake at Mountcastle Funeral Home. Friends and family are welcome to attend a reception following the service at Ms. Nightingale’s home, 16820 Flotilla Way, Woodbridge, VA 22191.

A memorial contribution may be made in the form of a donation to: Capital Hospice 6565 Arlington Blvd., Suite 500, Falls Church, VA 22042.

Memorial Card

In Loving Memory

Catherine Rickard Nightingale

Sunrise: June 15, 1935

Sunset: November 18, 2006

God looked around His garden

And found an empty place.

He then looked down upon the earth

And saw your tired face.

He put his arms around you

And lifted you to rest.

God’s garden must be beautiful

He always takes the best.

He saw the road was getting rough

And the hills were hard to climb,

So He closed your weary eyelids

And whispered "Peace be thine".

It broke our hearts to lose you

But you didn’t go alone,

For part of us went with you

The day God called you home.

May she rest in eternal peace.

Not The Happiest of Holidays

My mother in-law passed away yesterday.

For Dad

I just realized that the last 2 Republican Senators to concede were Burns and Allen. Say goodnight Gracie!

It's Official

We won! We really won!

Recount

A recount in Virginia doesn't mean that they recount every vote, all they can do is double check the number the computers spit out. Don't see how Allen thinks he's going to get 7,000+ votes switched to him.

The Day After

Tester just declared victory in Montana. Webb is still leading by almost 8,000 votes in Virginia. And Rumsfeld is resigning (according to MSNBC). I've got to be dreaming!

Wow!

It's 2:15 am. We've just won Missouri. Webb is now up 8,000 votes in Virginia, and Tester is leading in Montana. Unbelievable!!! In Virginia, the leader heading into a recount has never lost. Plus, a recount means alot of scrutiny on the race here in Virginia. And lots of talk about voter intimidation and suppression by the GOP in Virginia. It's going to get ugly.

Good Night

I've got to get some sleep. We've won the House, the Senate is too close to call. What a great night for democracy. Talk to everyone tomorrow.

My Favorite Shirt

I've had this shirt since the last election, when I did alot of work for the DCCC. I wore it all day today, and every Saturday for the past 2 months (yes, I wash it). Who new I was only 2 years ahead of my time?

3000

That's the difference now, 3,000 votes in the VA Senate race.

This is fascinating to watch

As the votes from Loudon, Prince William, Richmond and Norfolk are finally counted, Webb is getting closer. Now with 5000 votes. And the absentee ballots from Fairfax haven't been counted yet.

Man, this is nerve wracking!

Webb on TV now, says it's too close to call. It's a 12,000 vote difference, 49.7%-49.1%, Allen ahead. This is going to take a long time. Meanwhile, we now have our 1st woman Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi!!

Dead Even

49% each, Allen vs. Webb. They're already talking about a recount.

Up and down

Now, with 57% of the precincts in (that's precincts, not voters), Allen is now up 50%-49%.

20% in

Webb 50%, Allen 49%. We're not going to know the winner for awhile kids.

Results So Far

If anyone's reading me tonight and wants to track the Virginia results, go here. Right now, with 14% of the vote in, Webb is up 50% to 48% over Allen (the early results are from the more rural parts of the state).

Election Day

Well, it's finally here. I waited in line for over 45 minutes today in heavily Democratic Alexandria, VA. Which to me says that the base is highly, highly motivated.

Freedom

Let's Win This Mutha!

For anyone in the DC Metro area looking for ways to help win on Tuesday, here are some suggestions:

1. Phone Banks in DC are operating for BOTH MD and VA Dems with
EXTENDED HOURS

a.) Webb Phone Bank opens in DC with extended hours

The Webb for Senate campaign has opened a phone bank in the
District of Columbia which will be open long hours every day
through Election Day. We'd love to have more volunteers. The
District of Columbia Phone Bank for Jim Webb is located at:
1003 K Street NW, Washington DC 20001
(a few blocks from Metro Center and McPherson Square metros)

The Phone Bank is open 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Fri.
10 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Saturday and noon to 8 p.m. on Sunday.

We are running the phone bank on two floors of this building -
the 6th and 3rd floors. On weekdays before 5 p.m., people
should generally go to the UNITE HERE office 6th floor. After
5 p.m. and over the weekend, if no one answers on the 6th
floor, go to the Regan Associates office on the 3rd floor.

Volunteers can just walk in any time we are open and will be
very welcome. For more information about the DC phone bank
call Anne Cauman at 202-431-9083 cell or call Northern VA Webb
for Senate headquarters at 703-778-4080

Over the weekend and part of the time at night the front door
will be locked and the elevator will need a special key. We
will try to have someone posted in the lobby most of the time
to make sure volunteers can get into the building and up the
elevator easily. However, to be extra careful over the weekend
and at night, people should try to have Anne's cell phone no.
with them and also look for any phone # posted on the door to
the building., in case you need to call to be let in. If you
don't have a cell phone yourself, the building has a security
phone.

PLEASE BRING FULLY CHARGED CELL PHONES AND POWER CORDS (if you
have them) in case, periodically, we are lucky enough to fill
all the phones.

b.) O'Malley/Brown/Cardin Phone Bank in DC

The races for Governor and Senator from Maryland have really tightened up. Stop by after work, make some calls, and help change the course of our country! Now through Election Day, 10:00 AM - 9:00 PM, weekdays AND Weekends! 1100 17th Street, NW, Suite 604, Washington DC 20036. The building is at the intersection of 17th and L, walking distance from Dupont Circle, McPherson Square and GW. We are looking for volunteers to manage the phone banks. Please contact Mara Lee at
mlee@mddems.org or call (301) 306-0056 ext. 114. Note that
Phone banks in Montgomery County and Prince George's are still
operating as usual.

2. Canvass for Jim Webb in "swing" areas in Northern Virginia

This is it! The race is a toss up and the control of the
Senate may rest in YOUR hands!

These are the lit drop and canvass opportunities for this
weekend:

SATURDAY
Lorton Library
9520 Richmond Highway, Lorton
10:00 to 12:00 Saturday, November 4th
Chrisambr@aol.com 703-314-7556
(Lit Drop or Canvass)

FCDC Headquarters
2815 Hartland Rd
Falls Church
10:00 AM
Sue Langley 703-403-0190
(Lit Drop or Canvass)

Saratoga Elementary School
8111 Northumberland Rd
Springfield
1:00 PM
Chris Ambrose 703-314-7556
(Lit Drop)

Centreville Adult Education
Center
5775 Spindle Ct, Centreville 10AM
Hurst for Congress Headquaters 11198 Lee Highway, Fairfax 3PM

SUNDAY

Orange Hunt Elementary School, 6820 Sydenstricker Rd.,
Springfield, 22153, 12:00 to 3:00PM

3. Join Sec. Madeline Albright & Rep. Ben Cardin for a Foreign
Policy Forum, Nov. 4

Rep. Cardin and Secretary Albright will give remarks on the
impact of the War in Iraq on the future of American foreign
policy, and then take questions. Don't miss this incredible
opportunity to hear the insights of one of America's most
distinguished experts on foreign policy. Madeline Albright was
the first woman Secretary of State and the highest ranking
woman in the history of the United States. As Secretary, Dr.
Albright reinforced America's alliances, advocated democracy
and human rights, and promoted American trade and business,
labor and environmental standards abroad.

2:30 p.m. Saturday, November 4th
University of Maryland-Baltimore County
Public Policy Building, Room 105
Poplar Ave. and Center Rd. Catonsville, MD 21228
http://maps.google.com/maps?oi=map&q=Poplar+Ave+And+Center+Rd,+Catonsville,+MD+21228

Free and open to the public. RSVP to albright@bencardin.com
Hosted by the UMBC College Democrats.

4. Join President Bill Clinton & Jim Webb for a FREE GOTV Rally
in Alexandria, Monday, Nov. 6

Please join Jim Webb, President Clinton, Gov. Tim Kaine, Gov.
Mark Warner, Rep. Jim Moran, Del. Brian Moran & others at 5:15
PM on Monday, Nov. 6 at Market Square in the heart of Old Town
Alexandria on King Street in front of the Alexandria City Hall,
about 10 blocks north of the King Street Metro. There are many
frequent bus routes from the King St. Metro to Market Square.

President Clinton's appearance at this event is confirmed. I
am not sure about other details such as if some form of RSVP is
required for close-in viewing. There may or may not be other
events on Monday involving President Clinton in Maryland and
Virginia. For details about this and other events go to www.
webbforsenate.com

5. Vote Vets Ad With Wes Clark

http://securingamerica.com/node/1858.

VoteVets hopes to play this ad 400 times between now and
November 5. It costs $150 a showing on regional CNN and FOX
cable news.

PLEASE consider buying an ad (or part of one). It is easy to
donate online (scroll down to the link at
http://securingamerica.com/node/1858 If you donate now, the money will go to showing the ad.

Thanks for your consideration. This election counts! So does
this message. Also, please forward this message to friends who
might want to help get the truth about Iraq out.

6. Drinking Liberally - Every Wednesday on Capitol Hill,
Thursday's near Dupont Circle

Capitol Hill

DL Wednesday Night Meeting, Date and Time: November 8, 7:00 PM,
Speaker at 7:30 PM
Speaker: John Hlinko, Founder of DraftWesleyClark.com, StemPAC
& www.actforlove.com. The 18th Amendment,
http://www.18thamendment-dc.com/ 613 Pennsylvania Ave. SE, just
NW up Pennsylvania Ave SE towards the Capitol from the Eastern
Market Metro Stop Happy Hour Specials: All Domestic Drafts and
Bottles are just $2.00 'Til 8 PM, 1$ off all Classic
Cocktails and Signature Martinis.

Dupont Circle

Nov. 9 - open, post-election discussion. 6:30 PM, Speakers at
7:00 when applicable. Timberlake's (1726 Connecticut Ave NW,
north of Dupont Circle). Nov. 16 Take Back America Founder
Robert Borosage, will be with us on one of our special speaker
nights. He will likely reflect, among other things, on taking
back our country. Mr. Borosage writes widely on political,
economic and national security issues for a range of
publications including The Washington Post, the Los Angeles
Times, and the Philadelphia Inquirer. He is a Contributing
Editor at The Nation magazine, and a regular contributor to The
American Prospect magazine. He is a frequent commentator on
television and radio, including Fox Morning News, RadioNation,
National Public Radio, C-Span and Pacifica Radio. He lectures
on presidential power and national security as an adjunct
professor at AU's Washington School of Law.


7. Webb for Senate/Generation Webb Activities

a.) ?WORK THE METRO FOR WEBB!? FLYER DISTRIBUTION
Arlington, Alexandria, and Fairfax voted convincingly for Tim
Kaine in 2005 and the even more
Democratic-leaning younger demographic dominates the metro
commute. We?re hitting local metro stops to make sure our
transient population votes for Jim Webb and NO on #1 (the ?
marriage? amendment) on Election Day. We need to cover every
orange and blue line stop in VA, so sign up for a time and
location ASAP. WHEN: 7:00-9:00am & 5:00-7:00pm weekday
rush, Oct31-Nov 7
WHERE: your local metro stop!
RSVP: Marty Walsh, m.t.walsh@verizon.net

b.) Fri, November 3 WEBB CRAWL NIGHTLIFE VISIBILITY

?WEBB CRAWL!? NIGHLIFE VISIBILITY IN ARLINGTON
Tour local hot spots with Webb shirts, buttons and stickers to
raise awareness that it?s time to vote for Jim Webb and also
distribute car flyers in local parking lots for the young
Arlington going out crowd. BTW, if anyone wants to wear a
donkey suit, let usknow.

Full Schedule (subject to change):
6:00-7:00 Meet at Dremo?s
7:00-7:30 Ragtime
7:30-8:00 Four Courts
8:00-8:15 Webb Walk to Clarendon
8:15-8:45 Whitlow?s on Wilson
8:45-10:00 Clarendon Grill (to beat $5 cover)
10:00-11:00 Mister Days
11:00-12:00 Clarendon Ballroom (usually $5 cover)
Other options include: Ballston?s Carpool, Front Page
and car flyering Ballston Commons Mall (sign up to
lead this or another webb crawl/visibility effort)
WHEN: 6:00-12:00pm Friday, November 3
WHERE: Dr. Dremo?s, 2001 Clarendon Blvd. Arlington, VA
(next to Webb HQ)
RSVP: Jim McBride, jamesemcb@yahoo.com,
703-867-5070 (call/text for updates on our location)

c.) Sat, November 4 GOTV LIT DROP (PLUS YOUR BUILDING!)

GENERATION WEBB GET-OUT-THE-VOTE LITERATURE DROP

This is the last weekend to remind voters about Election Day
and to help the Webb-Moran campaign persuade Virginia to ?drop?
George Allen by dropping literature door-to-door to spread the
word about their vision for Virginia and our country under a
new direction in the U.S. Congress! Volunteers will leave
democratic literature at homes across Arlington (no
door knocking necessary). Also, if you live in a secure
building without open access, we need to reach the young and
transient voters that may be your
neighbors, so we ask that you leave literature at their doors
and report to us that you covered this uncharted territory!
WHEN: 12pm Saturday, Nov 4 (or anytime from
12pm-4pm every Sat/Sun)
WHERE: Webb HQ, 1916 Wilson Blvd, St. 304,
Arlington, VA (between Dr. Dremo's & Hollywood Video,
near Court House metro)
RSVP: Christi Fanelli, volunteer@jimmoran.org,
703-310-6756

d.) PRE-ELECTION NIGHT ?WEBB CALL? (PHONE BANK)
We need volunteers to come to our 40-line phone bank and NOT
our limited phone bank at Webb HQ to make calls. Before ESPN's
Monday Night Foot?Ball, stop by our Virginia Square phone bank
for a Pre-Election Night "Webb?Call" to donate a measly hour or
two of
your time to reach out to local voters to make sure they vote
on Election Day.
WHEN: 6-9pm Mon, Nov 6 (or 6-9pm M-F, 10am-9pm Sat, 12-
9pm Sun)
WHERE: Webb-Moran Virginia Square Phone Bank,
3440 N. Fairfax Drive, Arlington, VA (2 blocks from
the Virginia Square metro)
RSVP: Jim McBride, jamesemcb@yahoo.com, 703-867-5070
PHONE FROM HOME: homephone@webbforsenate.com OR
http://webb.bluestatedigital.com/page/s/homephone

e.) Tue, November 7 ELECTION DAY

?GOTV FOR WEBB!? AND VOTING ON ELECTION DAY Get Out The Vote
for Jim Webb by distributing literature at the polls, calling
voters, offering rides and more! We can even have you work
your own precinct.
WHEN: 6:00am-7:00pm November 7
WHERE: Webb HQ, 1916 Wilson Blvd, Arlington, VA (2 blocks
from Court House metro) or the polling place near you!
RSVP to work your precinct: Christi Fanelli,
volunteer@jimmoran.org, 703-310-6756
RSVP to work at Webb HQ or elsewhere:
fielddesk@webbforsenate.com
FIND YOUR VA PRECINCT/POLLING PLACE AND VOTING INFO:
http://www.sbe.virginia.gov/cms/Voter_Information/Where_Do_I_Vote/Polling_Place_Lookup_request.asp

WEBB HEADQUARTERS
1916 Wilson Boulevard, Arlington, VA 22201
(2 block from court house metro) www.webbforsenate.com
Sign up to make calls, drop literature, write postcards, do
data entry and more:
fielddesk@webbforsenate.com OR webbforsenate.com/volunteer

Can?t come to the office? Phone from home!
homephone@webbforsenate.com OR
http://webb.bluestatedigital.com/page/s/homephone

8. Gertrude Stein Democratic Club Pre-Election Activities

It's the weekend before an historic election, and the Stein
Club will be there!

Friday night (November 3), 10 PM: GOTV Bar Crawl: We'll be
visiting the DC area bars, handing out palm cards urging people
to vote on Tuesday for the Stein Club-endorsed Democratic
slate, and in races in MD and VA. Meet at Halo.

Saturday (November 4), 10 AM: GOTV in VA: Sterling, VA (Fairfax
County - Get out the Vote for Jim Webb, No on the Marriage
Amendment, and Judy Feder (candidate to unseat Rep. Frank Wolf
and get another Democratic seat). Meet at the Women's National
Democratic Club (1526 New Hampshire Avenue, NW) at 10 AM.

Saturday night (November 4), 10 PM: GOTV Bar Crawl (see above).

Sunday (November 5), 10 AM: Sterling VA GOTV.

If interested in these events, please RSVP to Jeff Hops at
jeffhops@yahoo.com or call (202) 588-9258. If you are going to
Virginia on Saturday or Sunday, please let us know if you have
a car so we can put together carpools.


9. Hit the Road With the DCCC

The DCCC is looking for on-the-ground volunteers to go out on
the road in the final days before the election leaving Friday,
November 3rd and staying through Election Day, November 7th in
key states like Ohio, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and Indiana.
We wouldn't ask you if it weren't so critically important - a
Democratic majority will mean that we can finally take our
country in a new direction. Will you help us? Sign up now to go
on the road!

If you have the opportunity and can go out on the road for longer or have any questions, please contact me, Cindy Smalls, (202) 485-3437 or at
smalls@dccc.org.

10. The AFL-CIO Voter Protection Program needs volunteer poll
monitors. To get more info and to volunteer, people should call
the AFL-CIO Civil, Human & Women?s Rights Department at 202-637-
5274. More info here:
http://blog.aflcio.org/2006/10/18/afl-cio-voter-protection-program-you-can-get-involved/

One of my favorite bloggers s is Big Sky Girl. I read her latest post and realized that it was a year ago last Monday that my cousin killed himself. Am I a bad person for not remembering? I mean, I remember what happened, but last Monday it didn't cross my mind, though I think of him alot.