More on high school

There were many people who I wanted to see that didn't make it to the reunion. The most obvious is Nancy, who's no longer with us. I was lucky enough to have been friends with Nancy since 2nd grade, and will never forget her. Now, I don't believe in ghosts and don't really think about what comes after our life here on Earth, but I have to admit that at least every few months, Nancy visits me in my dreams and gives me comfort and advice, just as she did in life.

I really wish that Hutch, David, Scott and Kris had made it to join me, Beth and Suzy. It would have been great to have seen Kathy Murphy, the one girl I was totally crazy about all through high school, though to this day I've never told her, though she had to have known. I had several crushes in high school, a few who did make it (Tonya Aguilar, Colleen Grafenstein), but none like Kathy. If I could change one thing about high school, it would be to tell her how I felt. What's the worst that could have happened, she rejects me? Seeing as how my strategy of keeping my feelings to myself led to the same result (not being with her), it couldn't have hurt. Aah, but that's the puzzle of being an teenager, isn't it? At least back in the 80's, which in retrospect where a much more innocent time than today.

I would have actually tried in class. I was a lazy student, I got A's and B's without trying at all. I would have taken many more risks - socially, academically, athletically. The hesitation I had in high school has followed me to this day.

I was looking through my yearbook tonight, reading what people had to say about me 20 years ago. One thing that hasn't changed is my politics - I was a liberal then (deep in the Reagan years) and I'm just as liberal today. Another thing that jumps out is how clueless I was about girls - reading what some of the girls wrote in my yearbook, I'd have to say that a few actually did have crushes on me. Man, was I blind!

So all in all, it was a great weekend. I've e-mailed some of the folks already, and invited a few over for poker this weekend. I am going to try my best not to lose touch for another 20 years.