Don't you miss dating?

“Don’t you miss dating?” Uh oh! This is how Amber, my FW (Fabulous Wife for my new visitors) started a conversation not too long ago. This immediately put me into my GUY DEFENSIVE MODE – “Of course not, you’re perfect” or something to that effect.

As usual, I misinterpreted what she was saying. FW was talking about how much fun dating was for her and how she misses going out like we used to do. She’s right. Since we got the dog (who I wrote about earlier), we don’t really go out anymore. As wonderful as he is, he’s also fuckin’ neurotic, with serious separation anxiety issues (based, in no small part, on the fact that his previous owner died at home and he was inside with the body for a few days). If we leave him alone at night, he goes ape-shit, barking his fool head off. If we had a house, it wouldn’t be a problem, but we own a condo, with people living above us. We’ve recently found a few dog sitters, but haven’t really taken advantage of them yet. Wow, we sound pretty pathetic, don’t we? If aliens came down and observed us, they’d think we were the animal and the dogs were the intelligent species. I mean we clean up their shit, feed them, play with them whenever they want. Damn!

Sorry ‘bout that little detour. I was talking about dating, right? Anyway, I totally get what the FW was saying. Remember that feeling you would get in your gut when you would see someone you just started going out with? That same feeling you would get when a teacher would spring a pop quiz on you or call on you in class when you weren't paying attention - major butterflies in your stomach. I can remember when Amber and I 1st started dating (not just Amber, but anyone I dated. Sorry honey!), remembering how great she was and how she made me feel, but having a hard time remember her face. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? I miss that. I miss flirting when there were consequences. I'm still a big flirt, but both the object of my flirtation and I know nothing will come of it. I miss the 2nd date, because that meant she liked me enough to see me again. Nothing like a little validation, though the fact that she married my punk ass is pretty damn validating as well.

Full disclosure - I never dated much. I know, shocking. I didn't date at all in high school. Way too shy and self-conscious. I did have some MAJOR crushes though, especially on Kathy Murphy. She was the Andie to my Duckie (Pretty in Pink, children). That was pretty much my roll in high school - The Friend. Seriously, my life was a John Hughes movie. Duckie in Pretty in Pink, Kevin Dolenz in St. Elmo's Fire, you get the picture. It wasn't until my 2nd year at UVa (1st year was one long infatuation with Sophia DeSousa. English accent, punk dresser, need I say more), after I joined my fraternity that I developed something close to self confidence and started dating. 1st girfriend, Guia. Then I met Julie, and fell back into my Duckie mode for a year or so. Then there was Kathy. I seriously thought I'd marry her. We only dated for, what, 2 1/2 years, but they were good years (19-21). Sorry, I'm starting to channel Rob Fleming in High Fidelity. Great book by the way. Great author too. Actually, he's my favorite, and not just because he's an Arsenal fan. But I'm losing you now. Let me wrap this up by saying, I agree with my wife. I, too, miss dating. I'll write more on the ups and downs (mainly downs) of my dating past later on.